Hanging’s too good for them

Students, those useless layabout bastards.

Who are we to give our hard earned taxes too, just to party up large and take the piss when those nice gentlemen in helmets and rather long wooden phallis stroll through the neighbourhood.

I bet if they’re all pinko commies, pornaholics or even worse terrorists.

Well you’d believe any of that if you listened to the introduction of the article on the kerfuffle that arose saturday night down in Dunedin after the Undie500.  Apparently the scene sat night conjured up images of some foreign land with men in funny hats that blow things and people up all the time.  Check this out (ed note the overly pained/dissapointed look on the news presenter give the story extra emphasis – imagine Judy Bailey in her most dissapointed face?):

“Running battles between police and students, burning cars on city streets and emergency workers too afraid for their own safety to help the injured.

It may sound like a foreign city in a strife torn country, but those were the scenes in Dunedin last night as around 1,000 students and their friends went on an alcohol-fuelled rampage.”

Holly crap, now I am from Dunedin, but am in Vancouver for the next 6 months, I hope my house is alright.  Probably is safe being on the Peninsula some 20kms away – NOT.  I got a text from our housesitter just the other day, my mail box has been destroyed by – you guessed it STUDENTS.  Well why not blame them, they have Mayor Chin foaming at the mouth anyway and the police and the media in a frenzy (seriously thank god I’m not home to listen to all of the bollocks that is following this story).  Perhaps I should inform TV3 that my letterbox has been the victim of an act of  alcohol-fuelled rampage.  We all know that dogs don’t attack in isolation, or that only one house invasion happens, or that only one consumer product is faulty.  This is it, my scoop, “House sitter terrorised as letterbox falls victim to another roadside IED (Inebriated Educated Dork).”  Remember these are the streets of NZ, and if we are to believe the media and that dear old campaigner for the good old days and everyones safety the Sensible Sentencing Trust, this is a dangerous wasteland of evil bastards out to get us all.  Poor house sitter, probably too scared to even leave the bed upstairs the next day (or was that a sleep in?).

Back to that evil life form known as the Student.  Something must be done about them, they riot all the time and not one single bugger ever gets made an example of. Give em to Garth McVicar, he’ll either string them up of have them in chains on the Palmerston roadside just north of Dunedin (where the smell of cattle truck is just mighty fine).  But wait not another over-reaction surely not.  The police are looking to upgrade charges.  I say go all the way, those evil little bastards obviously have scant regard for public health and safety, nothing short of sedition and attempted murder, or at least a grade 3 terrorism charge.

What a load of bollocks.  Don’t we all remember the late 1980’s when Paul Homes in his most disgusted (again think sad little Judy’s face) marched around Canterbury Uni demanding those in charge of the student festivities know as Drinking Stein’s be hung up before the poor suffering public as evil dooers.  Shame the student president of the day was such an evil bastard wasting taxpayers money, he’ll never come to any good (or perhaps just General Manager of one of NZ’s largest companies), but we’d hate that to cloud the issue.

To Mayor Chin – suck it up.  To the police – take a bloody chill pill.  To the idiot police boss who ordered in the riot squad, nice move, something about water on an oil fire – nice mixers for a student drink.  Fine the buggers and get your money back, money hurts students, but 2 years max jail you have got to be fucking joking.  I was in Wellington when a  National MP drove his tractor through a crowd up the steps of parliament, now that is endangering life more than a couch or two on fire.  Did he end up in Jail, not bloody likely.

Back to dear old TV3.  Now I prefer these sods over the other sods, but to send in the all too prematurely middle aged Dave Gooselink in a suit to stand in front a student flat the next day to assess the situation, that was inflaming the situation.  Charge TV3 with incitement to endangering public health.  Because the poor bugger over Dave’s shoulder that failed misserably to do a bong on live national television may never live this one down.  Students and would-be studnets all over the country whom are not aware, that is not how one does a bong, don’t try that at home kids.

Oh I almost forgot the time Paul Homes tried to boil the heads of the student leaders who allowed a bus load of Japanese tourists to be offended at Canterbury in the late 1980s again.

The students were stupid, but last time I looked a monsoon bucket of water dropped (cost $150 hr) on a couch and gathered students works, leave the riot gear at home and just seal off the area, they’ll all pass out eventually, then paste a happy police instant fine on them, but don’t over react lke you all have been.

Anyone keeping score?

1/10 to the media

-5/10 Mayor Chin

-1/10 Dunedin Police

1/10 Drunk Students

No one’s the winner but there are plenty of clear losers on this one.

RIP my hand built (black thumb nail to proove it) letterbox.



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2 responses to “Hanging’s too good for them

  1. Mark

    Christ, you don’t have a fucking clue what went on do you?

  2. Mark,

    goes something like this. Nasty party out of control, dunedin residents terrorised in their own homes, streets no longer safe, Otago Uni about to commit double jeopardy on students (something about Bill of Rights thrown out), bloody students getting away with blue murder, terrorised residents, over stretched police (always in calm control), outraged Mayor (hmm election on the way?) Terrorised residents…

    How the media loved that one. Must have been one hell of a crap sleep over in Musselborugh that night, what with out of control students terrorising the residents of Dunedin.

    I just wish Ian Wishart would do an article on my smashed mail box, Helen Clark must be responsible somehow?

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