National Party Spin Bollox #1-08 (c/- Mr Power)

Apparently Annette King (Minister of Police, Minister of Justice) has been naughty enough to suggest that there are other reasons for the ‘crime wave’ that is sweeping this fair land.

Possible other Reason 1: Climatic conditions, such as the spate of hot weather and luna cycles .

Possible other Reason 2: ‘Mother of all Budgets’, in reference to Ruth Richardson’s disastrous welfare cutting budget in 1991.

This has of course enraged the National Party’s spokesperson on crime and other nasties, after all as Mr Power put it Labour has had “nine years to stamp out crime”. Those useless bugger, what where they doing for all of those 9 years. We all know how easy to ‘stamp out crime’ it is – just like a fag or a nasty cockroach, you just stamp it out – easy.

Power to all our friends

Look at that manly chin, I bet there are some good stompers at the bottom of his legs. I love the concern on his face. Powerful yet vulnerable, what a man. (shh size 14 stompers you know).

According to Mr Power it “beggars belief that someone with that level of experience could say something so ridiculous” and that the govt is in “denial” over crime. Because as we know according to Mr Power all you have to do is stamp out crime, easy.


Given that the Insanity Sentencing Trust will most probably ump on this bandwagon, and that crime can be easily beaten if we just stamp on the evil little buggers who are terrorising the country with this out of control crime wave, I thought I’d see if there might just be something in the claims of Ms King?

I mean, would it be so bad to think that there might be more than one reason why these evil criminals were running rampant here and now?

First of all the Luna option. After all the word lunacy is a derivative of the word Luna. Sure the correlation between the cycles of the moon and human behavior have been noted for several millennium (known as the Luna Effect or the Transylvanian hypothesis). Although the correlation between the luna cycle and human social and psychological behavior is not strictly scientifically proven, we’ll forgive it that considering that Global Warming and the Big Bang are still scientific theories (bloody good ones maybe).

Anyone who lives in Christchurch well knows the effect on the citizens from the hot fohn wind know as the Nor-Wester as it screams down the mountains and Canterbury Plains collecting massive energy and negative ions. When the Nor-Wester is up and into the 30’s the fair kind (albeit slightly conservative) people of Christchurch go stark raving mad. Migraines and headaches ensue, not to mention the vomiting and fainting. One only needs to drive down Colombo St in a Nor-Wester to see the once timid and gentle drivers sit incessantly on their horns and resemble creatures from the ‘Goofey Mr Wheeler’ cartoon. But to add to that there is documented medical and scientific evidence (links to come) of this effect (just as there is with air pollution and health in CHCH).

But when senior police in Britain link crime to the luna cycle, there might just be something in it. This from the Guardian;

Police link full moon to aggression

Fred Attewill
Tuesday June 5, 2007
Guardian Unlimited

Police have linked full moons to a rise in aggressive behaviour among drinkers on the streets of Brighton.
Senior officers have decided to deploy more police this summer to counter trouble they believe is linked to the lunar cycle.

A Sussex police spokeswoman said today: “Research carried out by us has shown a correlation between violent incidents and full moons.”,,2095945,00.html

So it must be Sir Ian Blair head of the Metropolitan Police force for the 8 million people of London whom is in a “state of complete denial”. Or perhaps it was Sir Ian Blair to whom he was referring to when he said that “It beggars belief that someone with that level of experience could say something so ridiculous”. Careful what you say, Sir Ian may very well be visiting if you get in power, as after all you are going to “stomp out crime”.

As for the second claim that 16-17 years after the ‘Mother of all Budgets’ that there is a direct or at least contributing to the ‘crime wave’, how dare she suggest that there is a correlation between crime and poverty!!! How dare she even suggest that 16 odd years after a budget that hit the most vulnerable members of our society, that their now (funny this) 16-17 year old kids, just so happen to hit the demographic which is the punching-bag-de-jour of the opposition – the out of control youth criminals. I mean after all we can stamp out crime and we should have stamped these buggers into Boot Camp long ago eh – “what what Military training never did me any harm what what”. I have heard it all on talk radio this week after the leader of the opposition decided that (to use a Kiwiism) “hard yacka” or the lack of it is the reason kids are out of control. That boot camps and the regimented discipline (not to mention odd financial ruining of the parents) is what is needed to ‘stamp out crime’.

One only needs to Google ‘Crime and Poverty’ to have a choice of 1.2 million web pages dedicated to this very simple of searches. It’s a well know phenomenon, we (use evil socialist scum bag leftist pinko commie) teachers ‘brainwash’ the students with the very notion of the poverty cycle, or at least that’s what is taught in Social Studies and Geography, I guess Mr Power was away that day (certainly not for me to suggest that he was bunking that day).

Still we can stamp out this youth crime wave, shame that the suspect for the murder of the 15 year old boy killed for allegedly attempting to tag a fence is a Bruce William Emery 50 year old man of Auckland, or that the majority of the homicides this year have been in fact perpetrated on women in domestic violence cases.

National’s some what cyanide carrot and stick approach will appease the terrified masses that are dumb enough to listen to the doomsayers of talk radio, and will no doubt will find some traction with those brain dead enough to not even think that there may be another reason for what is a serious, sad and tragic issue.

Finally, the claims that we are in the midst of a ‘crime wave’ or epidemic that is spinning out of control, just isn’t backed up by the figures, sorry Mr Key. This from the Statistics department of the NZ govt. A simple graph that shows that over all crime is in fact declining – bugger those dammed stats.

The stats (sorry no link yet) also tell us that for the last few January’s there has been a spike in the murder rate, but that in fact for the last 2 years we have seen dramatically lower annual death rates. I don’t know, it has nothing to do with the heat and the cost of christmas, or the stress of the return to work, or the long school summer holidays, or the poverty…

Crime stats track down

I’m guessing I’m not going to have to follow the insanity sentencing trusts view of NZ and live in fear of the out of control criminal sweeping across the country, not at least during a full moon with a nor-wester.

However one bloody large brickbat for that complete tosser ChCh city councilor Barry Corbert, with his remarks regarding the murder of an alleged tagger – a 15 year old BOY. These words are nothing short of shameful, and he should immediately be stood down from his position on the council. In his words the guy who killed someone for attempting to tag a fence should “get away with it”.

“If I was on the jury, I would let him get away with it, but that is just me,”

“Everyone is feeling sorry for the kid and his family, but if the kid was not tagging, he would still be alive.”

Although admitting he didn’t know the full details of the case he was standing by is comments. Jesus, there’s a jay walker behind you Mr Corbert, and someone just dropped some rubbish on the streets, I think I even heard someone skateboard on the path – better get the gallows out Mr Corbert. You Wanker!!! Guessing I’m angry, too bloody right, his type have no place in a civil society, let alone in a position of responsibility. You moronic and heartless bastard! I only hope there was a Nor-Wester in ChCh when he made those comments, because there is no bloody excuse for that crap.



C/- Stuff’s cartoon of the day


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